Justifiable Insanity 2 Read online

  “To the bathroom, and my name ain’t Jamal.” He said trying to keep his composure, but it was clear Ryan was getting under his skin.

  “Oh yeah that’s right, you don’t know your name.” Ryan teased. “Well that’s what Sister Jasmine called you, so that’s what I’ma call you. Unless you want me to call you Booger.”

  Watching Jamal huff, Ryan knew he was getting under his skin, so he continued to call him names. “Yeah, Booger, that’s your new name, so when I call you, you better answer me, ok Booger.”

  There was nothing he could do. Yes, everyone in St. Mark’s called him Jamal because he couldn’t remember his name. All the nuns told him was he was left on the door of the church in the rain. He had no papers with him or anything; he wasn’t even wrapped in a blanket. Furthermore, he was almost dead with fever from a long, infected scar on the side of his face. After they nursed him back to health, he went from the church orphanage to St. Mark’s. Now at the age of ten, he was used to people calling him the wrong name. Nevertheless, he knew Jamal wasn’t his name.

  “I told you that’s not my name!” He began to yell at Ryan who was already standing two feet taller than him. Although he was small, he refused to back down from a fight; it would not be the first time he had gotten a bloody nose.

  “Your name is Booger until I change it!” Ryan yelled as the other children began to wake up. They didn’t want Ryan to beat-up Jamal. On the other hand, they felt if Ryan was hitting Jamal, he wouldn’t have time to mess with any of them. They did nothing to stop the fight; they merely watched while cheering him on. Ryan swung at Jamal with an open hand, slapping him in the face. This time, he didn’t fall like the last time. Jamal growled at Ryan, glaring at him with deadly, piercing eyes. One day, he would be big enough to beat him up.

  Jamal looked in the crowd of frightened, little children and noticed Kim standing there watching, practically shaking at the sight of Ryan. It had been rumored that Ryan had forced himself on Kim; afterwards, she was never the same. Jamal went to her bedside and told her if Ryan ever laid a hand on her again, he would kill him. Kim smiled briefly. Sadly, nothing he could say would help the way she was feeling. Ryan hit Jamal again. This time he fell, and unable to control himself, he pissed all down his leg. It was the one embarrassing thing Jamal couldn’t take. He knew Ryan would do everything within his power to never let him forget it.

  “Eww Booger, did I make you pee on yourself. I guess now I’m gonna have to start calling you Soggy Booger.” Ryan laughed, causing all the other children to join in. Kim was the exception, she merely hung her head in shame for him.

  Furious and completely embarrassed, he jumped up from the floor and as hard as he could, pushed Ryan over the bed onto the floor then raced down the hallway to the bathroom. It was all the energy he had in him, his adrenaline was pumping, and the blood in his veins was boiling. He always dreamed that he was a King standing over Ryan, who was lying on the ground after he had defeated him. While he was alone in the bathroom, he plotted how he would pay Ryan back for everything he had done to him, especially for what he did to Kim.

  Throughout the week, it didn’t take Ryan long before he continued his tirade among the other children at St. Mark’s. Seemingly, there was never any help for them. None of the priests or nuns listened when the other children reported that Ryan, their dorm senior, was abusing them. Jamal lay in his bed late nights listening to the other children cry as Ryan and his friends beat them up. Most of their loud screams could be heard through the entire building. Jamal was certain someone would hear them and come running to help, but they never did. Jamal learned how to sleep lightly. Even in his sleep, he could almost hear any footstep coming his way. Yet, he didn’t hear hers. Kim crept over to his bed and softly kissed him on the cheek. Even though he pretended to be asleep, he was wide awake.

  “I know you’re not sleeping,” Kim whispered from the side of his bed. “I just wanted to check on you to make sure you were ok. Ryan is such a jerk.” Rolling over, he gazed deeply into her big, round eyes and could see the sadness hiding behind them. As hard and as cold as he wanted to be, he didn’t feel that way when he was around her. She was the only person in his life that didn’t treat him like he was a child from the dirt of the streets.

  “I hate him.” He looked at Ryan and his friends, who were still abusing children in the dorm. Comprehending how he felt, Kim peered intensely into his eyes. She hated Ryan too, especially the way he would touch and fondle her body, forcing her to do all types of things she didn’t want to do. The last time she refused to do what he said, Ryan broke her jaw and told her if she told on him, he would kill her in her sleep just like he did his foster sister. Before either of them could say another word, Ryan came up behind Kim and pulled her by her long hair.

  “Didn’t I tell you not to talk to him?” Ryan expressed angrily as he walked behind her. “You’re only supposed to talk to me.” Kim tried to defend herself but Ryan hit her so hard she fell to the floor, stunned and in pain.

  “Leave her alone!” He yelled, trying to get up from the bed, but three boys were holding him down. “If you touch her again, I’m gonna kill you!” He balled up his face and glared at Ryan to let him know he meant business. He would kill him if he touched her again. Smirking, Ryan grabbed Kim by the hair then hit her in the mouth. She began to cry, he hated to see her cry, but there was nothing he could do since he was being restrained by three other bullies.

  Kim was tired of being abused by Ryan so she fought to get away from him. She attempted to regain her composure and break free of Ryan. Her soft, tan face was now bruised and distressed; all she wanted to do was flee. She didn’t want anyone touching her in her private areas; she didn’t like it when her dad did it to her and she didn’t like it when Ryan did it either. She promised herself she would never let anyone hurt her again. Looking into her eyes, he could see the fear and pain that she was making an effort to conceal. Additionally, he felt helpless to rescue her as he watched her body tremble while Ryan touched her. As quickly as she could, she pushed Ryan away from her and ran away from danger as fast as she could.

  “Come back here, bitch!” Ryan shouted after her; he began to chase her. The boys that were holding him down finally released him so they could help chase Kim. There was no way he would allow her to face Ryan alone, so he ran after them. He found Ryan and Kim fighting at the top of the stairs just as Kim punched Ryan in the face for the first time. Ryan retaliated with a quick backhand smack to the left side of her face. Recognizing how close she was to the edge of the steps, Kim realized if Ryan hit her again, she would not survive the fall. He swung his arm out with his knuckles barely missing her face. Quickly, she grabbed Ryan’s arm and pulled herself close to keep from falling.

  “You’re gonna pay for that.” Ryan warned, completely out of breath. He began to pinch her because it was one of the things he did to let her know he was in control. When Kim looked up, he could see she was looking at him, past Ryan. He wanted to take her away and make sure she wasn’t hurt, but Ryan’s boys were holding him back. “I’m gonna teach you how to obey, just like my dad did my mom,” Ryan stated. She realized she would be tormented for the rest of her stay there if she didn’t get away from him. “See Jamal, I got something you want and I’m not giving it back. I wanna see your face when I do whatever I want to her and she’s gonna like it.” Ryan laughed in his face. However, he wasn’t paying him any attention; he was too busy looking at Kim.

  Realistically, she knew there was no escaping Ryan. In her mind, she only had one choice. Gently, she blew him a kiss, past Ryan and all the other young boys, straight to his lips. If he closed his eyes, he could nearly feel her touch on his skin. He was sure he didn’t know what love was. Conversely, he was certain he loved her. Therefore, he had to save her. Out of the blue, Kim began to fight with Ryan again. All of the arguing and yelling caused the Sisters to investigate the commotion. Locking her eyes with his, with one hard pull away from Ryan, Kim fell backwards, rolling
hard down each step.

  “NO!” He heard himself yell out, but was sure he didn’t actually speak. Maybe it was his heart screaming out in pain as it was breaking. As they looked at her twisted body lying at the bottom of the stairs, Ryan and the other boys stood in shock that she pulled away like that. The Sisters ran to the bottom of the stairs, but it was too late. Unsure of where the strength came from, he quickly pulled away from the boys and rushed down the stairs to be by her side. “Kim…Kim…please be ok!” He said with tears in his eyes. Sadly, he could already see that she was gone. She died with her eyes open and her body in the most awkward position. Everyone was afraid to move her. Whereas, all he felt was rage.

  He jumped up out of his sleep, remembering the last person he’d loved and couldn’t protect. Now, as a man, he knew he would have done things differently; he would have tortured Ryan slowly and cut out his tongue so he wouldn’t be able to say her name. He could still see Kim’s face as if her ghost would never leave his side. He wanted to cry, to scream out because the only person he had ever loved was now a memory. Consequently, he didn’t want to heal from the pain; he wanted to use it as fuel against the individual that had caused him the most distress. For that reason, he was determined that Dennis Parker would suffer.

  Chapter 6

  Almost a full day had passed before he went in the basement to talk to Dennis Parker. He had not been to check on him or to give him any food or water. For all he cared, it didn’t matter if Dennis starved to death. Although according to his plans, it was not in his best interest to let Dennis die; he needed answers first. He needed to know who he was and where he came from. If he didn’t like the answers he received, Dennis would pay for every wrong answer.

  Grabbing his ski mask and leather gloves with the fingers cut out, he headed down to the basement with two bottles of water. As soon as he got to the basement door, he could hear Dennis calling out for him. He must have heard his footsteps on the floorboard above his head.

  “Shut da fuck up!” He yelled at Dennis. “No one can hear you.” He sat down at the table and looked at the padlocked door that Dennis was on the other side of. Cracking open a bottle of water, he took a quick drink to cool himself down before he began interrogating Dennis.

  “Please,” Dennis cried, leaning against the door, hoping he was listening. “Please…let me call my son. I know you’re going to kill me. Just please let me hear my son’s voice one last time.”

  “Why should I grant your request? You haven’t given me anything I wanted.” He grinned devilishly, enjoying the sound of Dennis being in distress, begging for scraps like a dog.

  “What do you want…I’ll give you anything?” Dennis pleaded, desperately panicking.

  “I want you to confess your sins.” He replied, although he knew Dennis would be too stubborn to reveal his secrets that easily. Dennis looked at the door with confusion on his face, wondering what sins he wanted him to confess. If he wanted to talk to Razon again, he would have to play by his rules but be smart about it.

  “I don’t know what you want me to confess. Everyone has sins. Please, just tell me what you want.”

  “Ok, then, tell me who you are?”

  “I’m Dennis Parker! You said you knew who I was! So what is this really about!? Tell me what you want; just tell me!” Dennis yelled through the door. Hoping he could hear something, Dennis placed his ear to the door but heard nothing.

  It was completely quiet to the point he wondered if he had left him alone again. “Hello…are you out there? Hello?” It remained silent, which started to make Dennis angry and unaware of what he was saying. “Look you sick son of a bitch…open this got damn door! I want to talk to my son!”

  Suddenly, the lock on the door jingled then the door was opened with hostility. With his face overlaid with fear, Dennis looked at the large man towering over him. He grabbed Dennis by the collar with one of his large hands then punched him in the face with the other. With one punch, it already felt to Dennis like his jaw was broken because it hurt so badly. Angrily, he pulled Dennis out of the room, dragging him to the chair then quickly tied him to it.

  “Who are you!?” He screamed in Dennis’s face, wanting him to admit the truth. Nothing was going to stop him until he got the answers he was searching for.

  “Dennis Parker…I’m Dennis Par…” Dennis tried to say but another heavy punch in the mouth prevented him from completing his sentence. Blood poured from the corner of his mouth and onto his now dirty dress shirt. Other than his name, Dennis didn’t know what else he wanted him to say. Now, he was worried he would beat him to death before he had a chance to speak to Razon.

  “Who are you!?” He continued to yell. “Tell me the truth!” The more Dennis didn’t provide an answer the more he was beaten and continually asked who he was. Still, there was no response. Out of frustration, because he was not getting what he wanted, he pulled his mask off his head to show Dennis exactly who he was. In shock, Dennis looked at the man standing before him. “Who am I?” He asked in a calm voice.

  Without saying a word, Dennis continued to stare at the smiling man. Now that he was standing in front of him, he knew Dennis could no longer hide the truth. “What’s my name; where did I come from; why are you denying me?” Dennis could feel one of his eyes beginning to swell almost forcing it closed. Yet, he said nothing. The man grabbed Dennis’s cell phone from the table and looked at his and Razon’s picture then showed the picture to Dennis. “This is my brother, my twin brother, and you’re my father. What I don’t understand is why I’m not in this picture. Why am I not a part of this happy family? Who am I?”

  Dennis gazed at his face and was forced to relive the truth that he tried to bury over twenty years ago. This man looked exactly like Razon. The only way to tell them apart was he had a long scar on the side of his face and Razon didn’t. Although it was true that this man was Razon’s twin, it was something Dennis promised he would never speak of again and would carry the secret to the grave, and that was exactly what he intended to do.

  “You are a killer and my son, Razon Parker, is going to find you and put a bullet between your eyes! Razon is an only child! Because you think you look like him doesn’t prove anything!” Dennis spat. During his bold statement, for a few seconds, Dennis forgot that he was in no position to make threats. In doing so, he was sure he would have to suffer the consequences. Turning around to place the phone back on the table, he looked back at Dennis, this time, with a four inch knife in his hand.

  “I’m not gonna keep asking you who I am. You’re gonna tell me what I need to know or you’re going to bleed old man.” Not only did he want Dennis to know he was serious, he wanted the right answers to his questions. “You’re right,” he laughed as he looked at Dennis’s swollen face. “I am a killer and I won’t hesitate to add your name to the list. Now I’m gonna ask you one more time…who am I? What is my name, my real name? TELL ME!” The voices in his head were urging him to kill Dennis, to feel the blood of the man that betrayed him on his hands, to acquire the ultimate justice. Yet, he comprehended that if he wanted answers, Dennis would have to be alive to answer them.

  “You’re a very confused man; you’re not my son!” Dennis shouted; he could see the anger in his face as he jabbed the knife into his leg. Dennis screamed out in pain, but still offered no information or answers. Standing up, he walked around the room to see what else he could use to make Dennis Parker talk. He looked on the top shelf and found a pair of old, rusty scissors then walked back over to the chair and looked Dennis in the face. Dennis listened as he told him he would cut one finger off at a time until he got some answers. Still, Dennis refused to say a word until he felt the cold blade of the scissors on his skin. Once face-to-face with him, Dennis could no longer deny he was Razon’s twin brother, whom he discarded many years ago. “Rajahn…” Dennis said with labored breath as a result of the hole in his leg bleeding profusely.

  “What? What did you say?” He stared intensely into his eyes.


  “Your name…your name is Rajahn…like Ra John…” Dennis finally confessed. “Razon and Rajahn…twin boys.” It was the last thing he said before he passed out from the pain.

  He may not have gotten all the information he wanted. However, he did get his name, Rajahn. It was not like any other name he’d heard, let alone any name he’d made up to call himself. Smiling slightly, he stood up. While looking down at Dennis, there were additional questions that clouded his mind. Where did he come from? Why did he leave him behind? Was his last name Parker? Rajahn didn’t have time for Dennis to sleep; he had more questions that needed answers, and he was growing more and more impatient. Although he knew Dennis would be out cold for a while, he decided he would find other ways to vent his frustration.

  Chapter 7

  It took a couple of days but Lisa was finally cleared to be released from the hospital. She was not shocked that Razon was in the waiting room while she was being discharged. She had received instructions that someone had to care for her while she healed. Against her better judgment, she agreed to go to his house so he could take care of her. By bringing her to his home, Razon was dedicated to taking care of her and ensuring she was comfortable. He set her up in one of his spare bedrooms and made sure she had all the comforts of home. He cooked, cleaned, and made certain she was pampered. No matter what she said or how she felt, she wasn’t going back to her house until he was certain it was safe.

  Lisa knew there was only a short time that she could conceal the feelings she had for Razon. It had been so long since she had a man who made her feel like she could let her guard down. She couldn’t help but have flashbacks of all the bad relationships she’d had over the years and wasn’t sure if she was ready to start something new.

  Waking up to the empty bed in Razon's guest room, the cold sheets reminded Lisa how alone she really was. The house was quiet, which was an unusual sound, because the last couple of days she could hear Razon talking on the phone, in search of his missing father. She got out of bed in her pajama pants and white tank top and grabbed her robe. This morning it was a little cool in the house. The sun was barely peeking through the blinds of the window on the other side of the room, which let her know it was still early, maybe before 8 a.m.